following bliss

 photo following bliss_zpsdhtaneff.png

Who are you and why are you here?” were the first questions I had to answer in a room full of unknown people, a second time since I moved to Switzerland, the first was in my school.

Because I am well acquainted with and have met the boyfriend’s family and friends before and everyone knew why I chose a country that freezes over for a good four months and rains the rest over a tropical paradise, I never had to explain myself. But there I was, in a self-inflicted awkward situation, in the midst of word-weavers and storytellers, I had to make sense of my insanity. I can almost hear the tiny knobs in my head, grinding and churning some words…

I am in Switzerland to be with my bliss, and I am in this writers workshop to pursue my other bliss,” is what my brain transmitted to my mouth, but “My boyfriend lives in Switzerland and we are looking if we are able to not kill each other by the end of six months so we can take our relationship to the next level. I am in this workshop because I haven’t written in a while and I want to be inspired to write again… Oh! Also, I’m going to try to survive winter before finally deciding to stay,” came out instead. I mean, I do have to be alive to be able to stay, right?

Anyway, December came and January is slowly creeping and I am still alive. I would like to believe that the weather heard my tiny voice in between the window slits of Volkshaus that day. It cooperated with me and decided to make most days sunny, but was also a little bit cocky and let a couple of days snow just to show me that dancing under powdered ice can be as nice as dancing on powder-like sand. I did dance and it was, indeed, nice.

So, bliss… I’ve always had two… And to follow them, I’ve put my faith into the breakdown of every life journey’s quintessence: that it is flight and pursuit in equal parts.

It’s like this: something important, something I invested time and spent money on, something I own was taken away from me and I didn’t even know it. I was disenfranchised from my own property and my art that I did not write for years. Years! But one day, I woke up and realized that it was wrong for me to stay where I was. One of the few things that really made me happy was writing, and I shouldn’t give it up on the account that I could suddenly no longer access my platform.

And so in an equal amount of effort, much as the bow is pulled back before the release, I gathered momentum and flew, figuratively and on an airplane. As soon as I landed in Switzerland, I started wooing my writing back. I left it waiting, rotting inside my pocket far too long and I can no longer ignore its silent but resonating whimpers. It will be acknowledged and it will be made manifest.

And the boyfriend? Gone were the days when we’d see each other twice a year and fill the rest of it with Skype calls. He now wakes up beside me, everyday, and wraps me with a morning hug before I stand up and make him coffee. He also showers longer than what is manly acceptable and has found an alternative to Boom Beach: World of Tanks, but we all have our quirks…

As I revel in finally being able to write again and to finally share my every waking moment with the mate of my soul, I can say that I’ve followed my bliss with courageous fervor. Believe me, this is the joy of coming home…

6 thoughts on “following bliss

  1. biber says:

    I really hope for you (and us!) that this is just the first beautiful testimonial of the writers flow that accompanies you from now on through life!

    Like

  2. mon says:

    Thank you, Gael! You are equally an amazing writer! I miss our Mui Ne days! I hope to see you soon, wherever that may be in the world! 😚

    Like

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